Thread:Eoros/@comment-30079501-20170102203053

Hi there!

Nice start so far! The Gondor page looks pretty good, although I have a couple of critiques. Primarily, I think there's far too much focus on things from our perspective. The Siege of Pelargir, altho worth mentioning, probably doesn't deserve more than a couple sentences. I would suggest talking more about the competition between Moldur, Arvedui, and Calimehtar, and using the Siege of Pelargir as the point where tension was the highest.

I also think that the paragraph talking about the Dunlendings is rather unnecessary, since nothing really ever happened with that. That would be more appropriate on the Dunlending page and, perhaps, the Uruk-Hai page.

In addition to those two paragraphs, I'm going to make a couple other minor changes, to make it more accurate.

Anyways, good job so far! We should talk to people on the server, see if they want to help write stuff about their fac. 